I was marveling today at how I used to analyze everything from a Christian perspective. Everything that happened to me or to others could somehow be traced to God or the devil. Looking back it all seems so strange. I used to think, "Could this be God testing me?" or "Satan must have quite a hold on that person!" Looking at what the Bible says it certainly is reasonable to think this way. Just look at the story of Job. Behind the scenes of the terrible events in Job's life we see a dialogue between God and Satan in which they are both responsible for causing Job misery. God was proud of Job, Satan had the great idea to "test" Job, and God gave Satan permission to do everything except kill Job. So it is no stretch of the imagination for a Christian to wonder what is going on behind the scenes in the day-to-day events that they come upon.
I can now recognize this as superstitious thinking and I am glad to put it behind me. So in the future if I get a flat tire, it is not a test of patience from God, it is simply a nail that was left in the road. No more Christian mind games. No more trying to figure out what God is "telling" me.
To be honest, shortly after I "left the faith" I thought that if there was a God who was keeping track of my belief status I would surely start to have some trials. It also seemed like some Christians that I spoke with were waiting and expecting that my life would start to fall apart. But nothing happened. My health is fine, my marriage is great, my job is fine, and I'm not "drowning in sins". The world has not changed, only my view of it has. There are no longer any spirits, demons or angels floating around, invisibly controlling or watching us. I am glad to put that behind me.
You are so right when you draw the parallel between seeing God (or Satan) in things and superstition. Its only when you leave the faith that you can see that.
ReplyDeleteMy experience of leaving is the same as yours. Nothing has really changed in my life. My life has carried on as before.
One thing that has occurred to me regarding the Christians you mention in your last paragraph. The obvious response to me would be to say that Satan only attacks those who are of faith and so your life not falling apart is because you are no longer a target.
limey
Yes, you're right. Trials are reserved for those who are worthy of a challenge (James 1:2-4). I wonder how they explain trials that happen to a non-believer.
DeleteI guess the stereotype given to an apostate is that they must be leaving the faith because they want to sin (that probably does happen frequently), but it is hard for them to understand when it is from a simple lack of belief. There is also this idea that non-Christians are not as happy, are more depressed and are unable to have a successful marriage. This obviously is not true.
I think it was Julia Sweeney (in her "Letting Go Of God" monologue) who talked about taking off the "God glasses", and looking around at the world from that new perspective. First you try taking them off for a day, and then a couple of days, and eventually (to your surprise) you start to realize that the world actually makes a lot better sense when you leave them off for good.
ReplyDelete