Counting the cost of deconversion

I'd like to write a post to someone who might happen across my blog and is currently considering leaving Christianity. I will assume that the person has already wrestled with issues surrounding the Bible, Christian doctrines and historical evidence.You may be in the process of realizing, like I did, that your faith is unwarranted.

You may be surprised, but I am actually not going to recommend that you leave Christianity. I believe that everyone should be free to make their own choices about their beliefs. Instead I would like to give you some pros and cons that I have found as a result of deconverting. Before I do that, let me just say why I think it's o.k. to stay a Christian. First, I think there is nothing wrong with believing in something that may not be true so long as you stay open to the fact that it may not be true. In other words, being aware of Christianity's problems is a good thing because you will be less dogmatic, more sympathetic to alternative viewpoints and you won't try to inflict your morals and politics on other people. Second, so long as you focus on the good aspects of Christianity it can be a great comfort in times of grief. If comfort is something you are in need of then do not rob yourself of it. Also, there is a great sense of community within religion which can be hard to replace. In summary, although I am against religion when it is used to control other people I have no problem with religion when it brings people together and encourages them.

Perhaps in spite of what I just said you are still considering leaving Christianity.
Here is my list of pros and cons:

Pro: There is a great intellectual burden that is lifted when you don't have to keep rationalizing away things in Christianity that don't make sense.

Con: You may lose friends that you care about. It might be intentional because they feel betrayed or it might just come about slowly from no longer seeing them at church.

Pro: You no longer think in terms of saved people and unsaved people (sheep and goats) and you don't have the burden of being responsible for witnessing to people so they don't spend eternity in hell.

Con: You don't get to live forever. Honestly, we have no idea what happens to us when we die, but it is my opinion that when our brain stops so does our mind.

Pro: Reflecting on the fact that this could very well be the only life we have can give you a great motivation to make the most of it and not take any moments for granted.

Con: You may experience mental / emotional anguish as a result of changing such a large part of how you think. It could be like going through a mental divorce.

Pro: Freedom. Your mind is free to think. You can read anything you wish, such as scientific discoveries, without having to worry about aligning them to your boxed-in worldview.

Con: You have no way of comforting someone who has lost a loved one. You can spend time with them and try to cheer them up, but the reality, no matter how sad it is, is that their loved one is gone.

Pro: Goodbye superstition. Read my post about leaving superstitions behind you.

Pro: Drop those nagging questions in the box beside the door as you leave please. Where DID Cain get his wife? What happens to those that don't hear the gospel? Did angels really procreate with women and create giants? Why did God expect Abraham to go through the motions of sacrificing his son on an altar? Did Jesus fly all the way to heaven through space? How did the earth contain enough water to flood everything including the mountains? Jesus is supposed to be God and have died on the cross, but isn't God immortal? Etc...

Con: Now you may wonder how the universe came to exist (this is not really a bad thing and could easily be a pro instead of a con). There is nothing wrong with admitting that we just don't know. If you want to believe that there may be some kind of divine being out there that's fine too. In my opinion, we should be open to future scientific discoveries and explanations that may follow.

Pro: No more guilt trips. Preachers feel the need to make you feel very guilty if you are not doing everything you can to be more and more like Christ. Giving, serving, praying, Bible reading, more serving, more giving, etc. Once you realize that they don't have a higher authority backing them up you no longer feel guilty. The guilt you felt was imposed by people, not by God.

Con: If you start to believe that there is no God listening to your prayers then you've just lost a very close friend that you used to speak with.

Pro: You don't have to feel embarrassed praying in a public restaurant. Just give your thanks to the waitress who served your food and leave it at that.

Pro: The "good news" is that there is no hell to be saved from and there will not be millions of people in never-ending, flaming torment weeping and gnashing their teeth. 

Remember, none of these are supposed to be arguments against Christianity. As long as you can still find some possibility that Christianity could be true for you then you have the choice to believe it or leave it. These are simply things to consider from a "how-it-will-affect-your-life" standpoint. One last observation I'll make is that while deconversion was a difficult experience on an emotional level, it has gotten much easier as time goes on.